Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Pornography

Pornography Time Statistics

Every second - $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography

Every second - 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography

Every second - 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines

Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States

(from Internet Pornography Statistics)

Men are the primary users of pornography! Why? Men are stimulated sexually by sight. Jesus gave the warning in Matthew 5:28, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

The first look may be unavoidable. Of course the enemy often uses surprise to catch one off guard. The movie industry has learned to slip in the seductive looking woman into the men's adventure series. The advertising agencies know that sex sells. The internet offers pornography at the click of a mouse button. Therefore, it is sometimes difficult to avoid the first glance.

Next, come the curious look to fill the eyes with as much bare flesh as possible. However, the Word says that the eyes are never filled. "Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied" (Proverbs 27:20). The more that a man sees, the more that he desires to see. This second look, though a conscious decision, is often excused as being just curiosity.

The third look goes beyond the vision of the eyes. This look may be even taken with the eyes closed. It is a look that goes beyond the clothing. It is an imaginary look. The man begins to undress the woman in his mind. However, pornography doesn't leave this look to the imagination. It displays nudity before one's eyes.

The fourth look which may also originate in the imagination is imagined acts of sexual aggression, foreplay, and the sexual act itself. Again, the so called hard-core pornography displays this before the eyes on paper, video, or voice word pictures. Then the man only has to put himself in the role of the aggressor or participant.

The Addiction

In the natural, the addiction to pornography is very difficult to break. Here are some reasons.

1. It is the misuse of a natural God-given desire and is often excused as just being "natural".

2. The initial stimuli is difficult to avoid.

3. When one looks at pornography, the video or magazine figures don't look back with disgust.

4. It is often accepted as being the norm for men. ("Men will be men").

5. It is often connected with sexual gratification. (Either by self-gratification or with a partner).

6. It carries often unseen guilt with it that also has to be dealt with.

Steps in Overcoming the addiction

1. First, the individual must come to acknowledge that the addiction exists. "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy" (Proverbs 28:13).

2. He must recognize that what he is doing is wrong. He may hate other sins but justify this one. "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world" (I John 2:16). "The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate" (Proverbs 8:13).

3. He must not blame others. "If my wife was just more affectionate." "If women were not so seductive." Adam blamed Eve blamed the serpent. Instead, the one who is addicted must begin to take responsibility to make corrections. Job said, "I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?" (Job 31:1).

4. He must learn the fear of the LORD. Fear of the LORD is a conscious knowledge that God disciplines his children and there will be a consequence for his sin. "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding" (Proverbs 9:10). "By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil" (Proverbs 16:6).

5. He must learn to flee temptation. "Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away" (Proverbs 4:15). "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" (I Corinthian 6:18). "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (II Timothy 2:22). Self-deception may enter in where one thinks he can play with fire without getting burned. "Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?" (Proverbs 6:27-28).

6. He must recognize that "will power" is not the answer. At a weak moment, he "will" give in. " "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not" (Romans 7:18). In contrast, for the Believer, he has access to the will of God and power of God. "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13). He must yield his will to God's will and be obedient by the power of God. See: "Training The Flesh".

7. He must engraft the Word of God concerning sexual purity. "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls" (James 1:21). To engraft means to memorize and meditate upon it until it becomes a reality in one's life. "For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman" (Proverbs 6:23-24).

8. He must destroy any pornography in his possession. "Then ye shall drive out all the inhabitants of the land from before you, and destroy all their pictures, and destroy all their molten images, and quite pluck down all their high places" (Numbers 33:52). Remember pornography is a substitute for truth.

9. He must understand and recognize that his body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. (For the Believer) "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's" (I Corinthians 6:19-20).

10. He must learn to submit himself to God and resist the devil. "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). One must understand that it not just what NOT to do, but also what TO do. Furthermore, the authority to stand must come from submission to the authority of God and those under His authority.

11. He must make himself accountable to a spiritual authority (pastor, elder, or church leader). "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much" (James 5:16). "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you" (Hebrew 13:17). When someone has to face regular questioning about his tendency toward the addiction, it may make him think twice before pursuing it.
(the above is from http://www.wholeperson-counseling.org/sexual/pornaddict.html)

7 comments:

satire and theology said...

Even if sex is not an addiction with pornography, girlfriends, sex-trade,or related, any hint of sex sin should be prayed about and repented of.

Russ

thekingpin68 said...

Funny, someone at church emailed on the subject tonight as well.

Jeff said...

Funny, someone at church emailed on the subject tonight as well.

It is a gigantic problem, even among Christians and Pastors. The Internet and its easy access have made the problem far worse than ever before.

thekingpin68 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thekingpin68 said...

1 Corinthians 7: 9
New American Standard Bible (©1995)
But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

I am NOT making excuses for sex sin, for which I ask the Lord for forgiveness in the atoning work and constant cleansing, although I do not give money to the sex trade or join porn sites, but the lack of Christian women to marry, in my area at least, is a major problem.

I am not certain why the Lord has allowed the evangelical church to become so worldly, with so many within dating non-believers etc., but from my perspective I WANT to follow 1 Corinthians 7: 9, but need something to work with. Someone suggested to me last Sunday to forget about looks, intellect and even having children, but this is capitulation, not just compromise. This is taking a kick to the head in an attempt to overcome a headache. I should not expect someone near perfect, but as Christian marriage requires significant commitment there has to at least be significant spiritual, intellectual, and physical attraction. If it is unreasonable to find what I would like with compromise in this fallen world, it is also unreasonable to expect a man of my age and lack of experience to settle down with someone else's teens, or worse adult children, with a quite possibly overweight woman that does not work out. I work out a lot even with the negative results of sleep apnea.

I have had a choice between the lessor of two evils, being with someone wrong and therefore sinning in many ways, including still struggling with desire for someone attractive and compatible, or being alone and struggling with sin, and I have went with the right decision.

Here is where my MPhil and PhD work come into play. Just as many Christians in error favour a free will theodicy over a sovereignty theodicy, many Christians and people of the world will attempt to primarily blame me for my situation. Well, I have made mistakes but not with a right woman.

Is it my fault God has elected few in Western society? No.

Is it my fault so many Christian women date non-believers? No.

It is my fault that so many Christian women do not study much Bible and theology, and therefore do not relate to me? No.

Russ:)

Luke said...

Thanks for your thoughts on breaking free from compulsive porn viewing. Good stuff!!

I just returned from the annual conference of the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation. Here's a live blog post about sexual addiction. It was a very informative workshop:

http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2008/11/15/helping-those-struggling-with-sexual-addictions/

Jeff said...

Luke,

Thank you for dropping by and leaving a comment, and thank you for that link! That looks like an excellent site. I think I will post the link that you left, on my Facebook page. That workshop sounds like it must have been good.