Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Life is short. Eternity is long.



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In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team ... Read Moreof experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy object s to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

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The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

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A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

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Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two-thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

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Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

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"And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good ... Read Morethings laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."
(Luke 12:16-21)

None of us know how long we have on this Earth. Are you ready for Eternity?

4 comments:

JC Lamont said...

I hope the Dead Worker one was a joke. That's horrible.

The rest were pretty humourous. Where did you find them?

Jeff said...

JC Lamont,

Thanks for your comment!

Actually, all of them were e-mailed to me.

As far as the Dead Worker one, SNOPES says that it is false, but that it was published in a number of newspapers in both the U.S. and Great Britain.

Lori said...

Well I think that certainly gets the point across! And they were kind of humorous, except the first one.

Jeff said...

Thanks, Lori!

Yes, the first one is gruesome.