Bargaining with God
"Little Johnnie desperately wanted a bright red wagon for Christmas.
His friends were writing letters to Santa Claus, but Johnnie decided to go one better.
"Dear Jesus," he wrote, "If I get a red wagon for Christmas, I won't fight with my brother Hank for a year." Then Johnnie thought, "Oh, no, Hank is such a brat, I could never, ever keep that promise." So Johnnie threw away the letter and started again.
"Dear Jesus, if I get a red wagon for Christmas, I will eat all my vegetables for a year." Then Johnnie thought, "Oh, no, that means spinach, broccoli and asparagus. Yuck! I could never ever keep that promise."
Suddenly, Johnnie had an idea. He went downstairs to the living room. From the mantel above the fireplace, he grabbed the family's statue of the Virgin Mary. Taking the statue to the kitchen, he wrapped it in newspapers and stuffed it into a grocery bag. He took the bag upstairs to his room, opened the closet and placed the package in the farthest, darkest corner.
He then closed the closet door, took a new sheet of paper and wrote, "Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..."
(from: Christian Jokes)
I drew the above 'little red wagon' in Adobe Illustrator
TESTING THE FAITH
'Porn again' for kingdom of God
Ex-stripper starts Christian ministry to help people tied to sex industry
"A former stripper is taking off all pretense when it comes to the Word of God, as she's on a mission designed to bring porn stars, nude dancers, and people addicted to pornography closer to salvation.
"We pattern our ministry after the very ministry of Jesus by actually going to the people who need him," says Heather Veitch, who performed in Las Vegas and California. "Our desire is for people to see that Christianity is anything but boring and restrictive. In Christ, we are free to experience adventure, pleasure, forgiveness, hope and peace."
The 31-year old full-time hairdresser has created a sparkling website called JC's GirlsGirlsGirls which has had 40,000 hits in three months. The concept was launched this summer in the wake of the alcoholism death of a friend and co-worker from a strip club in Colton, Calif. So far, it has helped several nude dancers to start attending church.
A Christian for the past five years, Veitch also cares for her terminally ill husband and her two children, ages four and 13.
"As a successful Vegas stripper, I lived life to the extreme," says Veitch. "I partied with celebrities, traveled, and found pleasure in the lifestyle that stripping provided. However, deep down inside I was terrified to die. Feeling like I would eventually pay the price for the life I lived, I began 'bargaining' with God."
"The pleasure, excitement, attention and love I get from living my life in the way God planned is far better than the unfulfilling and regretful life I lived before asking Jesus into my heart," she adds.
Also part of the JC's Girls team are Lori Albee and Tanya Huerter, married teachers who grew up in Christian homes, and appear in glamour-gal shots on the website.
"They remind me of 'Charlie's Angels,' but they are for real!" says documentary filmmaker Bill Daly in an on-site testimonial. "They're fighting false glamour with real spiritual beauty."
The gals also run a blog on site, providing the public with the latest information.
An entry from Heather dated Dec. 1 reads: "Lori, Tanya, and I are learning all about porn conventions. There is so much crazy stuff that you need that we would have never thought of ... like carpet."